Jokes

Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The SameAfter That Damned Gay Cowboy Movie (Brokeback Mountain) 1. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!" 2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!" 3. "Don't fret---I've been in tight spots before." 4. "Howdy, pardner." 5. You stay here while I sneak around from behind." 6. Two words: "Saddle Sore." 7. "Hold it right there! Now, move your hand, reeealslow-like." 8. "Let's mount up!" 9. "Nice spread ya got there!" 10. "Ride'em cowboy!" ####################################################3
##An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake." ## ##########> >> A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports > > >> car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a > blonde. > > >> > > >> The blonde cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug > > >> through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. > > >> > > >> "What does it look like?" she finally asked. > > >> > > >> The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." > > >> > > >> The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it > > >> and handed it to the policewoman. > > >> > > >> "Here it is," she said. > > >> > > >> The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, > > >> "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."###Well thought I'd just post some jokes this am. I am off on Holiday,,,,Happy Trails!!!