sky Blue

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Vacation

Well I am into the 5 day of camping. The weather has been great. The first night we got here on Saturday it did pour thou....The skies opened up and tons of water fell. We had a small lake by the front door. It slowly dispersed thou. Kinda felt sorry for the tent people,,I know they got soaked. Been spending days on the beach,,and biking. I am a golden brown. My brother Bobby is a little burnt and my one nephew is at that stage in his life where he is to embarred to take off his shirt,,,he is just a tad over weight but the kid looks good. Security with the shirt I guess. Yesterday my uncle who is around 70 years old,,,swam way out in the Merrimack River,,,he went out to the channel and floated and swam around 3 miles down river. The water temp is about 64,,,icey cold,,,,,I have yet to get fully wet. Today we all headed to the beach at the ocean,,,,My uncle swam way out.....{J} got embarrassed and knew the lifeguards were going to soon come and {J} left the beach. My uncle got way out past the markers and then they came,,,,yelling-blowing their whistles-waving their rescue equitment. Finally the one guy said.."Shit I hate going out there,- But off he had to go- My uncle was doing the dolphin swim. Everyone on the beach all gathered round to watch the rescue,,,,I thought for sure my uncle would have had to rescue the life guard. He told me the guy got out to him and said you have to come back,,,,you must be able to touch the sand- so my uncle dove under water and brought up a hand full of sand for him. Finally he came in with the life guard. We were all laughing our heads off,,,but I am sure it was pretty scary for the life guard. One of these days my uncle might not make it,,but at least he died doing some thing he likes. Tonight more of my cousins are coming- I want a sober night. I have been going to bed after midnight and missing the morning by sleeping it away,,,,So unlike me,,I am a morning person. Unable to post any jokes at this time but hopefully soon. Tonight it is dinner at Stripers- I can't wait,,,it is 2pm and I have not had anything to eat all day. Last night we all went up the coast to this place called Joey's for pizza. It was excellent except no drinks,,,which was a bummer for my sister-inlay,,,{J} drove and she was looking forward to a cocktail. have not cooked anything since I have been here. It has been out to eat or else {J} cooks,,,,I love it. Now it is back to the beach----Happy Trails!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

sky Blue....at the beach

sky Blue,,,,,Camping is going great!!..Spent the first 2 days on the beach. Today Bobby and family decided to stay off the beach,,they got burned yesterday. My aunt and uncle are here also,,,and my aunt hurt her foot and needed to go to the ER on Sunday,,,her nail came off her toe and being diabetic she needed to get checked out. They wanted to see her again today to see how it is doing,,,and my uncle needed some-one to watch his 2 grandsons....7 & 8,,,my sister in law has been keeping a eye on them at the beach and around the campground and she didn't want to be bothered again,,,fine {J} and I shall watch them,,,having no kids of our own,,wonder how far out we should let them run from our sights,,,,hummm,,,let them climb the rocks in the Merrimack river and hunt for crabs,,,but they were so far away,,,made them come back and play right in front of us,,,they were good about it. Put sun block 30 on them,,,,one was already burnt and the other just gets a golden brown like me,,,could pass for my kid if I had one. The other one could pass for {J} as a little kid,,,pudginess and all. After the beach we took them to the arcade,,,I headed to the library and now {J} gets to watch them,,believe me it took a bit to make him drop me off,,,,I heard oh,,just come back to the campground then take the car yourself,,,had to remind him,,,I wasnted to go there and not the arcade,,,so finally I got my way. The sea air here at night really makes you sleep like a baby,,,first morning I slept till 10am,,,then,,,we hit Kittery Maine and shopped all day with my brothers family,,,I mean all day,,,till 7pm at night---I am totally done shopping and going to stores,,,ugh . Yesterday on the beach there was this guy in long pants throwing a ball out in the river for his dog to fetch,,,after awhile he took some pictures of his dog,,,,I went over and asked him if he wanted me to snap a few pictures for him,,,,he said sure,,,,I said let me just grab my glasses,,,got back to him and he says,,"oh you wanna use my camera,,,,Hello,,,I am doing you a freakin favor,,why would I want to use my camera and take your picture,,,,I see why you are alone,,,he then thanked me and continued for hours playing with his dog,,,he was about 30 or so.,,,Tonight we are having our first cook-out,,,{J} shall be cooking burgers on the grill,,,on the morrow it is back to me dealing with dinner,,,and going out to eat,,,,for now it is back to the beach-----Happy Trails!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The middle of the week


Again,,times flies. I should be finishing packing for the trip but I always wait for the last minute to every thing then run around like a mad women getting it all done. And I always over pack,,,so far I have 15 different shirts,,,2 skorts,,2 clam diggers,,,8 different pairs of shorts,,,only one dress up outfit,,,3 bathing suits,,,(hunting for my black one,,yet),,,and shoes,,,,2 sneakers,,,4 sandles,,2 flip flops,,,2 beach cover ups,,,3 sleep outfits,,,wonder what else I need to pack besides my bathroom gear. We will shop when we get there for food and I am sure I will hit a clothing store. This picture I have posted before and I just love it. I will be walking the beach in 3 days,,,Gosh I can't wait. No alarm clock and hopefully no scheduals to deal with. I will be hitting Golds Gym up there,,,they have a great one with indoor track,,pool..hot tub...and all the machines I love to use and some I hate but force my self to do. The exercise ball I bought I still love it. I finally made it to the gym here today,,,first time all week. My friend's birthday is the 23th of the month,,,I will be away so need to get her presents by Saturday and a cake. Busy next few days. Looking foward to Sunday to lay on the beach. Now I gotta get back to work---Happy trails!!!!!##############################################
Two Texans were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One said "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I have never heard of that one," said the other cowboy. "What is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy,these feel just like your sister's.' Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds."###########################################>Newspapers>>>>1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people whorun the country.>>>>2. The Washington Post is read by people who thinkthey run the country.>>>>3. The New York Times is read by people who think theyshould run the >>country, and who are very good at crosswords.>>>>4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought torun the country but >>don't really understand the Washington Post. They do,however, like their >>statistics shown in pie charts.>>>>5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people whowouldn't mind running the >>country, if they could spare the time, and if theydidn't have to leave LA >>to do it.>>>>6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parentsused to run the >>country and they did a far superior job of it, thankyou very much.>>>>7.! The New York Daily News is read by people whoaren't too sure who's >>running the country, and don't really care as long asthey can get a seat >>on the train.>>>>8. The New York Post is read by people who don't carewho's running the >>country, as long as they do something reallyscandalous, preferably while >>intoxicated.>>>>9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people whoaren't sure there is >>a country or that anyone is running it; but whoever itis, they oppose all >>that they stand for. There are occasional exceptionsif the leaders are >>handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who alsohappen to be >>illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long asthey are Democrats.>>>>10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are runninganother country but >>need the baseball scores.>>>>11. The N! ational Enquirer is read by people trappedin line at the grocery >>store.

Monday, July 17, 2006

The beginning of the week,,,,and only a few days before Holiday!!!


You ever go to the drive up window at the bank to use the AMT and there is a car in front of you that doesn't know the consept of drive up,,,,they pull far away,,and get out to use it,,,what is up with that?,,,That happens to me at least once a week,,and I am useually pressed for time and I think they are not local,,either on vacation and need money or just plain freakin stupid! This is just one thing that erks me,,grant it ,,it's no big deal,,but you put that together with some one in the express lane at the grociery store where it's 15 items or less and they have 25 and need to write a check,,,or dig in their purse for the exact change....99 cents and want to pay for it in all pennies,,,You want to shoot them or else smack them in the head.....Perhaps I should not have started drinking coffee again. The other night Saturday night to be exact,,,I went to the store with {J},,now he is usual low patience person,,,he was getting coldcuts at the deli,,,the person waiting on him was as slow as molassas,,,I was amazed at how calm he was...would have been a whole different story if he was in the car waiting for me to come out of the store. Well on to a more pleasant thoughts....The party turned out great for his Mom,,,she was really surprized and every one had a great time. {J} cousins were all there and we found out his one cousin was getting a divorce,,,,nice guy,,good looking,,great job...very due-able,,,was telling him about my upcoming cruise,,,{J} told him to go with me he can be my date,,,would have been great to have a fillin,,,but I dout he will come. I took my Mom out of the "home" for a few hours and brought her to the party,,,she loved it,,,broght her home early so I could get back to the party and have fun. We got home about 6pm,,,so it was a long day,,,We were just getting ready to totally chill for the night when my niece called,,,she was boating with her other aunt and they were running out of gas and needed some one at club to fill up...only one around was Uncle {J},,he groaned abit but in the end he was happy to do it,,,he can be a great guy at times...And I was glad to help her,,,she never asks for any favors and she has helped me out a lot with my hair,,,,being a professional hair doctor. Like one sunday morning I decided to color my hair,,,,I hated it,,,I called her up and she opened up her shop just to fix my mess. She's a great person. In a couple of weeks my little sister will be moving back to NY state. I am so happy I can't wait. She will be up in Rome,,,and that is only about 2 hours away,,,so I will get to see her and the kids more. And I am sure they are looking foward to spending more time with thier uncle and fishing. Sure hope my brother in law like his new job and the whole family stays put for a long time. My sister is lucky,,,with 4 kids and 3 at home,,,she doesn't have to work,,,and can stay home---me no kids I gotta work,,,,unless I win the lottery witch I hope is soon,,,,,untill then its "Happy Trails"############################################Check this out!!
http://www.hall4bc04.org/Storm.htm

#############################################################Golf Time
Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant having dinner.
Woods turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going"?


Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf"?
Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that going right now."


Stevie says, "I always find that when my golf swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Tiger says, "You play golf"?


Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."


Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see"?


Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball toward him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again, I play the ball toward his voice"


"But how do you putt"? asks Woods.


Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball toward his voice."


Woods asks, "What's your handicap"?


Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."


Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."


Woods thinks it over and says, "Okay, I'm for that. When would you like to play"?


Stevie says, "Pick a night."

Saturday, July 15, 2006

The ending of the week


Well the week is over for me,,and it has flown by. As all the weeks seem to do. On thursday we went on our boat ride and headed up to what I call "Swallow Island". The home to migrating Sand Swallows that make their summer dwellings in the cliffs of sand. It's a lovely spot to go during the week,,no other boats are usually around and we have the whole spot to our selves. We can swim naked if we want. He never does thou.Closest he comes is swimming in his undies. When it's really hot I like to shed all and swim,,,he calls it weird but I find it fun to fling my bathing suit at him. On our way up to the island about 60 kayakers went by on there trip from Albany to Manhattan. I recieved a instant message about a month or so ago telling me about the trip,,it sounded like such fun but I couldn't do it for 3 reasons....1) J. would not have let me go. 2) couldn't afford to take that much time off 3) I don't think I could kayak for 15 days,,like 10 hours a day,,,whew. I really think the majority of them must have been vegetarians. And I am a meat eater. This bird in this shot was at the Island but he is not one of the sand Swallows...just a cool bird that posed for me. ( J ) was busy scrubbing the boat and waxing it,,,I got very tired watching him,,,offered to help but I think deep down he wanted me to just relax and enjoy the sun. We got back to the dock about 3 and I had to rush and get ready to go back to work,,,,I borrowed his weed eater for work,,to do some clearing around the garden,,,I actually had to sneak it out,,leaving him a note,,,if I break I will replace it....dam wish I never wrote that!! My boss saw me weed eating and said why didn't I get one of the men to do it,,,there is like 30 of them living around the farm but I was capable of doing it my self,,,or I thought. I broke the little trigger thing you hold and now I need to get him a new one. Ugh,,,a 5 minute job cost me $100 or so,,,wich really bites. Witch brings me on today,,,,last night I didn't sleep good. They started spaying at 11pm,,,and at 11:30 the sprayer broke down right out side my pt's window----with the intercome system,,,made it sound like it was in my room. I think I got 4 good hours of sleep. Then today I had the mail job. My boss left me a note----Rule #1,,The PS form 4240 is a legal document and must have clear entries,,,I can not make out when you reported-or left for delivery or returned,,,,Please write carefully!!,,,Here is the story,,,never before is the date printed on that form,,,So I wrote in the date and time I came,,,went out on the route came back and the other carrier Charlie said "oh I'll sign you out,,,"oh what did you do write the date,,,I'll correct it,,,so he put his chicken scratch all over the freakin place and you can't read crap....me being nieve thought he would have done a decent job,,,big mistake there,,,,you think when the boss mentioned it,,he would have said oh i did that by accident,,,nope,,what a Dhead. I am calling her on Monday and explaining. You think he would have said it was his ass that screwed it up,,,,I am a firm believer "You do it You own up to it" Thank you Dr. Phil for those words of wisdom. I actually believe that is a great principle to follow in life...Well now I shall post some jokes and wishes of.....HAPPYTRAIL!!!#################A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland askedthe priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?""Of course. What may I do for you?""Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is wellover theCustoms limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is thereanyway youcould carry it through Customs for me? Under your robesperhaps?""I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will notlie.""With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?""From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing todeclare."The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what doyou have to declare from your waist to the floor?""I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on awoman, but which is, to date, unused ."Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father." #######A young man goes to buy the best car on the market, abrand new FerrariGT. It is also the most expensive car in the world, andit costs him$500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a redlight.An old man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old,pulls up next to him.The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks,"What kind ofcar ya' got there, Sonny?"The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half amillion dollars!""That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does itcost so much?" Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" hestates proudly. The old moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a lookinside?" "No problem,"replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in thewindow and looks around.Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says,"That's a pretty nice car, all right...but I'll stick with my Moped!"Just then the lightchanges, so the young guy decides to show the old manwhat his car cando. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometerreads 160 mph.Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. Itseems to begetting closer! He slows down to see what it could beand suddenlyWhoosh! something whips by him going much faster!"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?"the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes theFerrari up to 250 mph.Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man onthe Moped!Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he givesit more gas andpasses the moped at 275 mph. WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH! He'sfeeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old mangaining on him AGAIN!Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors thegas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not tenseconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flatout, and there'snothing he c an do! Suddenly, the Moped plows into theback of hisFerrari, demolishing the rear end. The young man stopsand jumps out,unbelievably the old man is still alive! He runs up tothe mangled oldman and says, "Oh My God! Is there anything I can do foryou?"The old man whispers..."UNHOOK...MY...SUSPENDERS...FROM...YOUR...SIDEVIEW....MIRROR"

Thursday, July 13, 2006

July 13th


This is my version of footprints in the sand,,,,could it be a bear has wondered on my island? Not really,,just Bingo the sheperd. You think with a name like that he would be friendly. He is leary of strangers and hates other dogs. He has bitten a few cousins for running,,,he thought they were muggers. And a few of the cousins dogs,,right now he is plotting how to remove the fence from the neighboring yard and go after the pit bulls there. My neighbor has 2 and one old golden retriever. The first 2 weeks when he got the last pitbull,,was constant barking,,and growling at me every time I was in my garden. Wonder what the life span of a pitbull is,,,sure hope it's not more than a year. I really can't stand them. My favorite is a sheperd or a lab. Are last lab was part great dane,,,big and friendly......I invested in a exercise ball today. I did 50 sit ups already. Going to try to do them when I am home,,,(J) already wants me to bring it to my house,,,hello I am home,,,,the other place is just where I work. This weekend we will have his mom's party,,,I am in charge of making flower arrangements. I am just going to use Queen Ann lace and daises and black eyed suszie's. All wild flowers but I think it will be nice,,,I might mix some of my perinals in there but I really hate parting with them...Every time I go out to the garden the cat wants catnip and races to the door for me...I usually give him some on my way out the door and then it disappears,,,(J) has yet to let me know he picks it up every time. On the morrow we will head on the river for a 2 hour cruise,,if he doesn't get bored we can stretch it to 4....Now it's back to my other home,,,,,Happy Trails!!!!!##########################Several years ago, when blacks weren't allowed to attend classes or play sports at many colleges, a black guy was on the practice field showing the coach what he could do. He ran like the wind, he passed like a dream, and he caught like a professional fisherman. One of the players already on the team walked up to the coach and asked, "Coach, you ain't gonna let that black guy join the team, are you?"The coach kept watching the black guy and answered, "Look at that Indian run!"######################################################This one man comes to America from a foreign country. He is at a baseball game for the first time. While he is sitting in the stands, he sees a man hit a ball and then run. He notices everyone get up and start to scream "run." So the next time someone hits the ball he stands up and says "run ya bastard run." Now that he got the hang of it he did this every time the ball was hit. A few minutes later he sees a guy lay down the bat and walk towards first base, so he gets up and says "run ya bastard run." Every one started to laugh. He sat down in embarrassment and a man kindly leaned over his shoulder and said "he doesn't have to run." The man replied "why not?" He said "because he's got four balls." So the foreign man stood up and said . . ."walk with pride my boy!"########################################An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds."No, not worth it!""OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?""No, not worth it!""OK, 20?""No, not worth it!""How about 10?""No, not worth it!""Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worthit?""Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Hump day


Well,,,Today is my mixed up day. Wanted to sleep to at least 8am,,,but noooo,,,my patient awoke at 6am and thought it was late,,,she was just up 2 hours before,,,didn't have to go to the bathroom or anything,,,,just wanted to know what I was doing,,,I was rather Quiet,,,Well ya,,I was asleep....At 6;30 she wants to know if I fell back asleep,,,Well I did but not now. It is kinda funny but think if it was later would have been better,,,,Now I am up for the day and she is snoring like a baby,,,Kinda wanted to say at 8;30,,,,Are you sleeping,,but I know she needs her rest more than I. So I got my self ready for my 10am doctors appointment,,,made it there on time,,,pulled into the parking garage,,,got my ticket,,And headed up to the office,,signed in and when the receptionist was free she checked on my appointment,,,,nope they had to cancel on me because the NPA quit,,,and now rescheduled for my follow up shot in August,,,I had the procedure done in June,,that will make it 2 months after my shot,,,that really does not seem kosher to me. ...Oh well such is life. The receptionist told me how badly they are booked and how some people are yelling at her. She said she called and left a message on my answering machine,,,well none were there,,,gave her my cell,,,perhaps that will help. But I doubt it. yesterday we had a good day at work. Took my patient up to Troy to have lunch with her son and his wife. Nice Italian resteraunt on RT. 4,,,forget the name but think it is Mortabellos. Been there a few times and food is always great. Stopped at a few places on the way back,,,we even visited my Mom,,So she had a great day. And I am ready for a nap.{J} is watching his favorite show he taped Resque Me,,,,And telling me not to put him on my blog,,,Ok fine I wont!!! Ya right!!!Already he is telling me how Stupid it is to go on a cruise,,,much more smarter to pay $500 a few times to go Nascar race and watch cars go around and around. So I guess what ever makes you happy just do it!!!! This shot is of the fireworks this past saturday night,,,Thought it was so cool I even got the reflection of the moon in on it!!....Well it's back to work I go HAPPY TRAILS!!!#################How To Ask A Man To Do Something Always remember these five important rules when asking a man to do something: 1. Make sure the man is conscious. 1a. Then give him a Blow Job 2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage with the sports section. 3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three, or four hours, max. 3b. Then ... give him a Blow Job 4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. A blow job will usually do just fine. Or, offer to cook him something that doesn't have a peel-back cover. 5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate. Microwave his remote on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and microwave again for another 35 minutes. Or, threaten to not give him a blow job. 6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd better" or "do as I say and no one will get hurt". 7. When all else fails ... Blow Job. OK, seven rules. ######################################A study in Scotland showed that the kind of "male face" a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is post-menstrual she may be attracted to plain facial features. When pre-menstrual she can be attracted to more feminine features in a man. If she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged, masculine features, and if she is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted to a man with a pair of scissors shoved in his temple. ###########################################Q. Why don't Mr. and Mrs. Smokey Bear have any children?A. Because every time she gets hot, he hits her over the head with a shovel and throws dirt on her.##########################################################Q. Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? A. He decided to stick it out for one more year. #################################

Monday, July 10, 2006

Monday,,Monday


Yet another shot from the river. This am I have been trying to plan my winter cruise. It is going to be a family outing. My 2 sisters and one brother and inlaws will be going for sure,,,,my little sister Margaret and brother Bobby are unsure of it yet. {J} will not be going,,,,if it was in November he might. But this is a January cruise and with our old house some one needs to be home to make sure the water doesn't freeze and the side walks are clear. We probably could have gotten someone to house sit,,,but our dog only likes {J} Mother,,,and she will be in her winter home by then in Arizona. I will miss him,,And bring him back something nice,,other than just me. He is worried already that I will do something foolish,,,or get raped and thrown over board...He forgets my 2 brother in laws are like Detectives with guns,,,and I carry a pretty mean punch. I went on a cruise before,,when I was just 24 and nothing bad happened to me,,,and then it was just me and my sister Anna. Its going to be great,,We are all getting older and who knows if we will never beable to do this again,,,,,The last trip we took together as a family was when my Dad was alive ,,,and he was very sick and dying of cancer. We went up to Salisberry beach area,,,hunted for a hotel that was half way decent, and all went out fishing together, that was fun. My sister Milly didn't want to go on the boat so she went exporing to a beach and found Salisberry Beach State park. We as in {J} and I go there every year. In 2 weeks we will be there with my brother Bobby and wife and nephews. Also my Uncle and Aunt shall be there. My Aunt is getting older and sick and didn't think she would go this year but they are. She lost her sight to diabetes a few years ago and is depressed and sleeps alot,,,so the change in pace might do her good. I am sitting here daydreaming and really need to think about going to work,,,Monday's are open day for me and I being boss can go any time,,,they are use to me coming at 2 or 3pm. Next day home for the night might be Saturday,,,unless my pt. gets over night coming...so its a long hall of a week....The breaks I get help make it go by quick. Next Sunday day off already is booked. {J} is having a big surprize party for his Mother's 75th birthday,,,,It will be a big surprize since she had it in April,,,it will be great,,,For Now,,,HAPPY TRAILS!!!And now on to the jokes###########################################These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:~Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, butI only slept with you, because I was pissed~I thought that I could love no otherUntil, that is, I met your brother~Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty And so is your head.~Of loving beauty you float with graceIf only you could hide your face~Kind, intelligent, loving and hotThis describes everything you are not~I want to feel your sweet embraceBut don't take that paper bag off of your face~I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-Damn, I'm good at telling lies!~My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:Marrying you screwed up my life~I see your face when I am dreamingThat's why I always wake up screaming~My love you take my breath awayWhat have you stepped in to smell this way?My feelings for you no words can tellExcept for maybe "go to hell"~What inspired this amorous rhyme?Two parts vodka, one part lime##############################Q. Why are Democrats better in bed?A. You've never heard of getting a good piece of elephant, have you?#######Why does the bride always wear white?Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,it was called witchcraft ... Today, it's called golf.@@@@@@@@@@@@@There were three old ladies sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park. The flasher stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.The first lady immediately had a stroke.Then the second lady also had a stroke.But the third lady - being older and more feeble - couldn't reach that far.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

The weekend


We arrived down at the boat by 4;30pm,,,,A private Wedding party was taking place at the club,,,We and 90% of the other members were not invited,,,And that was to the better,,we had the night to our selves!!,,,We Headed up the river to that nice restaurant we went to earlier in the week. Tons of boats out ....And close to our destination.. In the middle of the channel was a mother duck and 4 of her very TINY babies,,,thought that was strange, but figured she was just trying to get across. We got to the place and not many people were there,,,witch was surprising. Our waitress was great,,,so much more alive than the one we had for lunch earlier in the week. And not once did she mention the word "absolutely",,,(we were thinking being frequent restaurant goers that is the main word they teach you in waitress/waiter school) Our meal was terrific,,,service was great,,,atmosphere great!!! Highly recommend the "Blue Water Bistro" in Coxsackie,,,on Reed street!!,,After our meal we headed out for a evening cruise,,,we had a few hours to kill before the fireworks across the river from our club, I wanted a napp!!,,{J} wouldn't let me sleep..Trying to hit every bump in the river he could find. We went a couples miles south and there was that mother duckling with her babies still out in the channel. They were on a mission to go south by water,,,surprising they didn't get hit!!,,,We ran into a few friends on their boats anchored out to watch fire works from Athens,,,,And yadda with them,,and headed back to the dock.....The wedding party was still going on. There was this home made big house boat next to our dock. The boat was done really well. I was curious to peek in the windows,,,,{J} let me know how uncool that was,,,thank you very much. Soon the owner came,,,a Hotty,,,nice looking guy from Maine,,,He and his girlfriend were very friendly and didn't mind me coming on board and checking it out. It was so cool,,,it slept 6 comphy. And was furnished with old house parts. You can check it out on the web @ www.oldhouseparts.com He told me he designed it in his head when he was going throu a divorce,,,it took 6 months to build,,,and by the 4th month he had it in the water. Truley a great vessel,,,the stove in it was 1920's and workable,,,all of the fixings in it from windows to can openers were old and very cool. They were going to spend the night on the river and {J} and I at the dock. The fireworks were ok,,nothing great,,,we got to watch them and listen to the Wedding party band that part was cool. The Band's music was good but if they had a better singer it would have been great. We headed to bed at 11,,,I was ready at 8pm. {J} hates sleeping on the water,,,He did good till about 2am,,,then got restless,,,wich kept me up,,and not in the fun way. He decided to head home,,,I was staying put. He left and I fell back asleep and had nightmares---awoke at 4:15am,,,double checked all the windows. I heard so many weird creepy sounds,,,,A log would hit the boat,,,even thought I head the ducks and her babies coming bye.....I was praying for a early sunrise...fell back to sleep soon as light came,,,Awoke at 8 and walked home...{J} sleeping like a baby....Showered and shopped for the day,,,We then took the little boat out to our Island,,,when we were lying and soaking up the sun,,we saw the Oldhouseparts boat go by,,,Now home and vegging the night away,,,,Nautical Smiles and Happy Trails!!!
You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.
1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up
. 8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha- Ha !!! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it...And while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push he keeps trying!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Tis the 8th of July in the year 2006!!!


This shot was during the week. It is of the Hudson/Athens lighthouse. I have been inside of it and every room has a great view of the river. There are tours of it for any one interested. I just love light houses. Today was a mail day....went pretty good. Today it was Sherrie's turn to buy breakfast,,,,I call it in and John picks it up,,,,wouldn't you know it I forgot to place her order and had to run down and get it. A while back I posted a picture of this house on my route that looks like a dump,,,,it has gotten worse,,,in the front yard more garbage,,,a tent,,A screened in room and actually almost every speck of grass has junk on it,,,they now are putting up a fence instead of cleaning it up,,,,kinda wonder if the neighbors on that road are buying it. Yesterday at my other job I locked my self out and had to climb threw a window,,,The good news there is,,,,The house is kinda safe and no entry but at that window,,,now know to keep that one locked. We are now heading out to the river and crashing on the boat for the night,,,its going to be so cool to watch the stars at night and rock to the waves!!!!Wonder if we will stay all night or just till dark,,,humm,,time to find out!!! HAppy Trails!!!!!
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. 6. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up." 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." 10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You take naps. 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. 19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit." 21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. 22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. 24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. 25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?" Bonus: 26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Casual Friday

Today I was looking foward to sleeping late...well at least till 8am. I awoke at 6ish to the sounds of chain saws,,,and weed eaters out my bedroom window. The chain saws were in the orchards,,,the workers are thinning the tree's. But the weed eater man was below my window. BUZZZZZZZZZZ,,,,A little hard to sleep to that. Guess I should be thankfull the are working and less I have to do,,,,But only if they started later,,,the better. They start the day at 6am,,,and finish at 3pm. Not I ,,,I start when I awake,,,and don't finish till its time to go to sleep at 10pm,,,And even then I have to sleep light so I can hear my patient. Last night was a good night. She slept all the way till 8am. I awoke her then to make sure she is ok. Thursdays are hard on her....the lady that comes gets her up by 7;30,,,,and she does not nap at all...think at times she is afraid that she will miss something,,,or perhaps not wake up. She told me that once with a " At my age you never know". Now its 8:20 and she is snoring nicely. I will leave here and head to the gym,,,then meet {J} and head on the river,,,,we need to gas up the big boat again,,,but not sure if we will go on that or the small one and drift around. Right now its a pretty morning but I think it should be warmer,,,,I like the heat and humidity,,,and the air seems brisk,,,I even got goose bumps,,,,think I need to get out in the sun. Enjoy Happy Trails!!!#################################################
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates andsaid, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anythingyou want is yours for the asking."

The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.

The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives:from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."

God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are youhappy?"

The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Many days all in one


This shot is from the back of our island. You can see how close the mainland is. You wouldn't want to swim in this side thou---muck and snapping turtles and "Monsters" I am sure are there. The swamp monster!!! Reminds me of a comic-book I read when I was younger. I used to love to read Archies and scary comic books. Now I rarely even look at the funnies. Now I read suspense books. Or heart warming stories.....Chicken Soup for the Soul. I have a book here,,(at work),,called a cup of Comfort,,,that I read to my patient. She enjoys very short heart warming stories. If it is long she gets lost,,,,part of the demetia. Started this post on Tuesday,,,now it's Thursday.....Time goes by so fast. Yesterday I took her fishing. First time in all of her 95 years. She had a blast. We started out first at the pond closest to the house,,,after half an hour and not one bite,,we decided to try the bigger pond,,,Loaded her and the chairs,,,all the gear. The other pond was so pretty,,,tons of dragon flies dancing on the waters edge. I even saw red ones that I have never seen. I could see the fish,,,,little blue gills. Well she caught a big old cat fish. Was going to use pliers and gently take the hook out of that ugly fishes mouth,,,,,but the line broke and he swam away. Poor critter now has to live with that hook. The down side to fishing. I had to end again this am,,,at work the Thursday lady was coming to relieve me,,,and not one of my favorite people. She starts picking up all my things I have scattered around the house...And putting it on a pile,,,,then telling me how I shouldn't smoke....I pretend to hear what she is saying but I got other thoughts on my mind. As what I have to tell her.....Don't give Patient lunch today ,,,just breakfast. She tends to give her a big breakfast then 2 hours later lunch,,,,I want to try to explain to her again for the numerous time,,,,Pt. is 95 years old,,,,in active,,,and meals should at least be 4 hours away. I would give her a snack in the afternoon,,,,,fruit/yogurt or a piece of cake till supper..But not all people feel the same as I do. Me I don't eat breakfast,,,and it's fruit and diet tea till supper,,,or a healthy peanut butter cup...Or nuts. Today I didn't eat breakfast,,,,lunch was at 1pm. I came home at 11 am from Alyson's and met {J} and his Mom and great niece and nephew. We took them for a boat ride. His Mom took dramine,,,and I think I should have,,,,he let the 2 year old and the 6 year old drive the boat....Around in circles we went. Whip lash came when the 2 year old hit the gas. They actually did pretty good after a while. Next day on the boat is the weekend. Sleeping on it,,,{J} really hates to sleep on it,,,seems to keep him up the waves,,,me I sleep like a baby,,,,looking forward to that....Now it's back to work and yadda yadda from the other lady there now,,,,I will pretend to hear this one,,,but my mind will be on upcoming events. Happy Trails!!!!@@@@Calories burned during sex:It has been known for many years that sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.REMOVING HER CLOTHES:With her consent.................................12 CaloriesWithout her consent...........................2,187 CaloriesOPENING HER BRA:With both hands.................................. 8 CaloriesWith one hand....................................12 CaloriesWith your teeth.................................485 CaloriesPUTTING ON A CONDOM:With an erection..................................6 CaloriesWithout an erection...........................3,315 CaloriesPOSITIONS:Missionary.......................................12 Calories69 lying down....................................78 Calories69 standing up..................................812 CaloriesWheelbarrow.....................................216 CaloriesDoggy Style.....................................326 CaloriesItalian chandelier............................2,912 CaloriesORGASMS:Real............................................112 CaloriesFake..........................................1,315 CaloriesPOST ORGASM:Lying in bed hugging.............................18 CaloriesGetting up immediately...........................36 CaloriesExplaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 CaloriesGETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:20-29 years......................................36 Calories30-39 years......................................80 Calories40-49 years.....................................124 Calories50-59 years...................................1,972 Calories60-69 years...................................7,916 Calories70 and over........................Results are still pendingDRESSING AFTERWARDSCalmly...........................................32 CaloriesIn a hurry.......................................98 CaloriesWith her father knocking at the door..........5,218 CaloriesWith your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 CaloriesResults may vary. ######################################

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

July 4th


This is a great shot I took. So very tropical. Yesterday we headed up the river and took our time witch I love going slow. We went up to Coxsockie. They have easy docks and parking is abreeze. Me being the first mate,,my job is to jump off the boat with the front and rear ropes and tie up. There is a nautical name for all of this but,,not sure if it's starboard or port,,,so we shall ignore the technical crap. We had our mind set to going to this little restaurant and getting a bite to eat. But they were closed. There was another place opened,,that we went to once before and I didn't care for it,,,,but we thought we would try it again..I was starved,,1pm in the afternoon and I ate just lunch the day before. The name of the place ws"Back Water Creek". I ordered,,,,crab cakes,,,,calamari...And a key lime salad with shrimp and crabmeat. I was hungry....He got a burger. My salad was great,,,5 large shrimp,,,crabmeat,,,3 different peppers,,,greens,,,fresh dill,,,,all for $10. We both loved the calamari,,it was cooked to perfection,,,on a dish with marinara on the bottom,,,topped with olives and cheese. The best we ever had. The crab cakes were great to,,,not the best but very close to it. His burger was just a burger....He would not get that again. Are meal was under $40 and I thought that was great. We took a menu to post in our club. I can not wait to go back there for supper. We are staying on the boat this weekend,,,and I plan on going there. {J} plans on getting a pizza and a salad and floating on the river,,,,so we shall see. The water was muddy from all the rains we have been having. And a lot of debrie,,,,I was thinking we would see a house or car go floating by,,,,luckily none of that. We stayed on the river till 4pm,,then I needed to get to work. And walla that is where I am now. Not sure if we are going any where today,,,kinda just wanna stay put,,,maybe drop a fishing line in the pond with my patient. I think she would enjoy that. Enjoy The 4th!!!! HAPPY TRAILS!!!! ################################A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man>> was enjoying the>> scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he>> was dead.>>>> He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside>> him had been dead for>> years. He wondered where the road was leading them.>>>> After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall>> along one side of the>> road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a>> long hill, it was broken>> by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he>> was standing before it>> he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked>> like mother-of-pearl, and>> the street that led to the gate looked like pure>> gold. He and the dog walked>> toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man>> at a desk to one side.>>>> When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me,>> where are we?">>>> "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.>>>> "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man>> asked.>>>> "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some>> ice water brought right>> up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.>>>> "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in,>> too?" the traveler>> asked.>>>> "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.">>>> The man thought a moment and then turned back toward>> the road and continued>> the way he had been going with his dog.>>>> After another long walk, and at the top of another>> long hill, he came to a>> dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as>> if it had never been>> closed. There was no fence.>>>> As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside,>> leaning against a tree and>> reading a book.>>>> "Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any>> water?">>>> "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.">>>> "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to>> the dog.>>>> "There should be a bowl by the pump.">>>> They went through the gate, and sure enough, there>> was an old-fashioned hand>> pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the>> water bowl and took a>> long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.>>>> When they were full, he and the dog walked back>> toward the man who was>> standing by the tree.>>>> "What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.>>>> "This is Heaven," he answered.>>>> "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The>> man down the road said>> that was Heaven, too.">>>> "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and>> pearly gates? Nope. That's>> Hell disguised as Heaven.">>>> "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name>> like that?">>>> "No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks>> who would leave their>> best friends behind."

Monday, July 03, 2006

JULY 3rd,,Enjoy


This is another shot from yesterday,,It's from the side of the Island heading back to "our" little piece of paradise. The island is home to a variety of wild flowers,,and many species of birds. And a few Eagles hunt from there. There is a small body of water behind the island...Then the rest of civilization begins,,,with train tracks and all. Yesterday we noticed 2 guys ride up in their tin boat to start to build a duck blind along the tracks....{J} promised to destroy it,,,or let the rail authority know about it,,,as I sit at my desk typing I can hear a train blowing,,,that same train either has or shall pass our Island shortly. When we were younger,,my sisters and I use to moon the train,,the good old days. Yesterday I was telling {J} how when we were kids and out swimming and boating in our metal canoe,,,when a lighting storm came up we would just tip the boat over and climb under it for shelter. How freaking stupid is that!!! Like we thought we were safe...Yup in a body of water and under a metal boat. We were lucky not to get struck at all. Speaking of stupid things.....I was reading the Daily Freeman's Sunday news,,,It's out of Kingston, Ny. They had a article in there about this lady that went to the ER with a very painful stomach ache. So they X-rayed her and could see some thing foreign in there. So they decided to operate,,,,what they found was 19 - 3 inch nails in there. Some have been rusty and have been in there for month's. Not just your average penny. This was a 40 year old female. It said how it just stratched her stomach lining. And no major damage. She is going to make recovery the next day and be out,,,,Out,,she needs to be locked up and supervised. She definitely has a case of PICA. Not sure where she was from,,,don't even recall if It was the USA or not. I use to work with mentally "challenged" teens that had PICA,,,they would put whatever they could find in there mouths from cigarette buts to dog crap,,,,definitely gross. Reading today's news,,,,A Granny's dream advice helped a guy win the lottery,,,,of course that was in Malaysia,,,,so not sure how true that is. Well the day looks great and heading on the Big boat,,,for lunch and a ride before I get to work,,,,Enjoy!!! HAPPY TRAILS!!!!---------------------------------------------A cowboy rides into town and stops at the saloon, gets off his horse walks around to the back of it, lifts up the tail and kisses it smack on the ass, The bartender inside the bar notices this transaction and thinks it a little strange. When the cowboy saunters up to the bar and orders a drink the bartender asks him, "I noticed when you got off your horse you walked behind it and kissed it on the ass. Can I ask why?" The cowboy answers "Chapped lips". "Wow!" says the bartender. "It cures chapped lips?""No, but it sure as hell keeps you from licking them.@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@"Q:What's the best way to catch Dolly Parton in the woods?A: Use a booby trap!###################################################Todd is walking downtown and a girl calls to him, "blowjob, five dollars."He gives her a strange look and keeps walking. Soon another girl does the same thing. Confused, he keeps walking.The first thing out of his mouth when he returned home was "Mom, what's a blowjob?"His mom replies, "five dollars, just like downtown!"

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Another day in the life of me


This is a shot from today,,,,grant it, if I had make up crew and hair people there,,,It would have been a good shot. As it is,,,my hair had not seen a pic since am,,,even the darn dog was ready to run. But I was enjoying my self,,,and it's the only shot that {J} took that can be shown. He has a tendacy to always get a awful shot of me,,,I am either bending over,,,or doing something that I don't want a shot of. Today turned out to be a nice day,,I got off work at 8;30am,,hit the food store

-- for chow's. Went to the gym and we headed to river at 11am. A few sprinkles were coming down,,and we listened to the weather report of a few dangerous thunderstorms coming in for the afternoon. Great I thought....We will be stranded on the island being low tide and no shelter. Me and lighting do not go well together. We loaded up our little boat,,,as my cousins were heading back unloading theirs. We got out to our spot on the island and soon as we hit the shore,,I state how perhaps we should just go out on the big boat,,,,if it thunders and such we will have shelter,,,,{J} just rolled his eyes,,saying how I can never make up my mind as what to do,,,,and started to turn the boat around and head back home to the big boat,,,after about 2 " well maybe it will be ok here, from me"....He said we are staying. It sprinkled on us 3 times,,but not hard- a gentle sprinkle. And the day turned out to be great. We had the whole island all to are selves. I was watching 2 morning doves land further on the beach from our spot. They were playing and acting like love birds,,,when all of the sunden a BLUE BIRD landed on a fallen tree about 3 feet from them. I took it as a good sign,,,seeing the Blue Bird of happiness. {J} cooked our meal,,I think that is why I love camping and BQ's,,,he always gets to cook and I get a break. In 19 days we will camp for 2 weeks. He will do all the cooking ,,,on the days it is my turn,,,It will be the 99 restaurant...Or another favorite spot.
On the morrow we will take the big boat out and go for a cruise and lunch. Being a holiday and all I still gotta work so shall try to get there by 3. It's nice to be the boss. Happy Trails and Happy 4th of July!!!!!World's Thinnest Books
FRENCH WAR HEROESby Jacques Chirac HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRYby Jane Fonda MY BEAUTY SECRETSby Janet Reno MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTSby Dan Marino!THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILLby! Hillary Clinton MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENEby Osama Bin Laden THINGS I CANNOT AFFORDby Bill Gates THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEYby Dennis Rodman MY WILD YEARSby Al Gore AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS DETROIT: a Travel Guide A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHESby Dr. J. Kevorkian ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFOREby Ellen de Generes GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTEby Mike Tyson SPOTTED OWL RECIPESby the EPA THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERSby O. J. Simpson Bridge Travelby Ted Kennedy And the world's Number One Thinnest BookMY BOOK OF MORALSby Bill Clintonwith introductionby The Rev. Jessie Jackson@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
-- During the wedding reception in the family mansion, the bride'sGrandfather slipped her five $100 bills which she concealed inher glove, since he told her to keep it for "mad money".By tradition, the couple spent their first night together in thefamily's historic house. The bride's Grandmother saw her sneaking down the stairs later that night, and asked where she was going. "I left my gloves in the .library, Grand-MaMa, and it'simportant that I have them.""Oh you youngsters !" the Grandmother sighed. "You march yourselfright back upstairs and grab hold of that damm thing with yourbare hands just as I did your Grandfather's###################################################

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.###############################################################

Saturday, July 01, 2006

This is a shot from my home garden. Every little nook and cranny I find tranquility in it. If I could only find my clippers in it I would be all set!!I had them yesterday and I think they next to the pair I lost last week. I start to cut some dead flower heads off and something always catches my eye and when I go back to clipping they are gone. I have a few rose bushes in the garden.....One I kinda made grow under the fence from my neighbors garden,,mind you I only wanted one,,,,numerous followed. The other kinda up-rooted from a camping trip to Salisbury beach. Which I love. It's a nice time to spend in my garden,,when I want to be alone with my thoughts. Today was a mail day,,yuk,first of the month, but it went relatively smooth. There was a bad mishap on my route and someone got airlifted to Albany,,,don't know the details but a friend called to make sure it wasn't me. Thought that was nice,,don't see that person on a daily basis and glad to know they are thinking of me. Finished te day last thou,,,,the 2 older guys beat me,,but hey my mail was perfect,,can they say that----I think not. I got home to {J} pretty earlier,,like 4pm,,,brought him a pc. of fried dough from the town park,,,the town was celerbrating the 4th,,,and had booths up,,,I asked im to meet me,,,but he chose not,,,,busy with "what ever"..or what ever excuse would work,,,,probably thought t was a girl thing,,who knows. When I got home he told me he saw my old boyfriend at the gas ,,,pump,,,and how he called him everything he could----I thought to my self,,,hummm,,, and kinda kept my thoughts to my self. But now I can vent---that was really shitty of you to do that,,,HELLO did you not hear your self ranting and raving ,,you got the girl,,,treat her like a queen,,,are you doing that? Don' belittle some one else,,that is so un- cool. I could not hurt some one else's feelings and still have good Karma. Then,,she tells you who she saw at the occasion witch you chose not to go. A cop that made detective,,,that is friendly to me,,,and a nice guy,,you remind me how I can have him,,and be a detectives wife...You send mixed vibes,,,you want to be a friend to a detective or what. Are you joking or giving me blessings. Guess what all boils down to is we need to be happy with what we got,,and show it,,,if not ,,,we need to make our happiness now,,,we only have one chance,,,and we are growing freaking old every day,,,,,You wanna grow old alone---or with some one????On that Happy positive,uplifting note,,,Good CheerS! Happy Trails!!!!!!!!
Subject: Drug Theft Gone Wrong> A news article from a Florida Newspaper:>> When Nathan Radlich's house was burgled, thieves lefthis TV, his VCR,> and even left his watch. What they did take was"generic white cardboard> box filled with grayish-white powder." (That at leastis the way the> police> described it.)>> A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said "thatit looked similar> to cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit thebig time.">> Then Nathan stood in front of the TV cameras andpleaded with the> burglars: "Please return the cremated remains of mysister, Gertrude.> She died three years ago.">> Well, the next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of adrug dealer known> as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. Thecardboard box was> there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained.And there was this> note.> It said: "Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wastedHoochie. Sorry we> snorted your sister.>> No hard feelings. Have a nice day."________________________________________>>David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR>> > > drivers:>>>> > > # 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.>> > > # 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.>> > > # 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.>> > > # 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at >>the>>same>> >time.>> > > # 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale JR.>> > > # 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.>> > > # 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.>> > > # 3 - No Cadillac's approved for competition.>> > > # 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.>> > >>> > >>> > > AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR...>> > >>> > >>> > > #1 - They can't wear their helmets sideways!>>>>>>@@@@I haven't acquired all of this and definitely haven't mastered all - maybe that is my problem!! Enjoy
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, anda black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... One friend whoAlways makes her Laugh... And oneWho lets her cry... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... A good piece of furniture not previously owned byAnyone else in her family... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... Eight matching plates, Wine glasses with stems,And a recipe for a meal that willMake her guests feel honored. A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... A feeling of control over Her destiny... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... How to fall in love Without losing herself... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... How to quit a job... Break up with a lover... And confront a friend without ruining the friendship... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... When to try harder... and When to walk away... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... That she can't change...The length of her calves, The width of her hips, orThe nature of her parents... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... That her childhoodMay not have been Perfect... but; It's over... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... What she would and Wouldn'tDo for love or more... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... How to live alone...even if She doesn't like it... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... Whom she can trust, Whom she can't,And why she shouldn't Take it personally... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... Where to go?Be it to her best friend's kitchen table... Or a charming inn in the woods...When her soul needs soothing... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... What she can and can't accomplishIn a day... A month...And a year...